I’ve received quite a few questions about the practical side of living in Vilcabamba Ecuador.   I am still very wet in discovery.  However, as I wonder in the process of experience, it is a good time to share the gritty details.

Here is my list of observations!

Thus far, it has been my experience that 9 out of 10 people are friendly.  I do not speak Spanish and I am working it out.  I even set up a local bank account and post office box with sign language.   There are plenty of English speaking Gringos..and most who know Spanish are quite happy to help.  
At the market, I try to only buy from the indigenous as I have been told they bring produce right from their gardens.   There are many different stories about whether the produce is organic or not.  The vendors always say yes.   

If you are female (and blonde), be prepared to be flattered.   You know all the characters in your life ~ the one who protects, the one who is afraid, the one who talks a lot, the one who sits quietly, the drunk, the coffee drinkers, the one who is the comic, the nurturer, the gossip, the butcher, the farmer and the candle stick maker?  They are here too!  Everyone says hello!

There is a tremendous amount of construction happening in this valley.  I heard many share they are preparing for the Gringo Wave.   It is not like the subdivision construction I am used too…rocks and concrete are chiselled by hand.  A rope and pully lifts material to roof tops.  Concrete is mixed in a barrel where a determined soul stirs and stirs.   (When they pour concrete on the roads (referring to the highway construction), the road is actually shut right down…you could be waiting for hours).

It is my experience that accommodations are plentiful.   A very luxurious home in the mountains will cost about $300 - $500 a month.   An apartment in town is about $500.  My little cottage which is walking distance to the square is $250.  Most homes are concrete, rock and adobe.   I am told that most roofs leak.  That is not my experience thus far.

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It has been a ride out of the ordinary ride, that is for sure!

It has been two weeks since I arrived in Vilcabamba. This valley is the most incredibly beautiful place I have ever experienced!  It is a Mecca of Transformation.  It is clear that everyone feels called here!  Everyone!  The day I arrived, someone shared with me a loving warning ~ “your ‘stuff’ will show up…deal with it…or this valley will spit you out”.   The Valley Spirit has no interest in masks or fakes ….it will open you up completely naked and vulnerable…fast and furious!  There are no secrets here…there is no place to run and hide.  It is like you are transparent and nude.  And, the experience is spinning faster than I have ever experienced.

So, in two weeks I have moved 3 ½ times (1/2 is because I didn’t actually sleep in one location…but moved my things intending to sleep).   David and I are entertaining a recreation of our intimate relationship.  I am single.   Strange, after a year and half of blaming “distance medicine” for the difficulties, I am now experiencing new feelings and considerations that show up as amazing gifts.

As I continue to practice personal responsibility, I choose not to reveal the gory details of the break-down (although I have been accused of doing so on facebook).  I am absolutely clear I am diving into personal responsibility of my experience.   This quote is echoing in my open vulnerable self:

I would rather risk your horrified rejection by revealing my naked core than stay safely bundled in the arms of your inability to see who I really am. ~Eden Sunyatananda Skye

Truthfully, I’ve urged to nag out the details to world.  What would happen if I did?  Well, I have made up that my family and friends would be in deep worry and concern. And, they were regardless of what I shared.   Funny how that works!     I must dive deeper though,  I think this need to tell-all was just a mask.   I was operating from a need to defend myself as a disguise of needing another’s approval.  This “thing” inside me stinks of insecurity … or the security I thirst in feeling understood.

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Oh My Soul 
Oh my Soul, you come and you go 
Through the paths of time and space. 

I opened my world behind inside portal of new possibilities
As I spread a world unknown and dreamed with sparkles of hope
I whispered goodbyes to friends and family as I discarded all things
And flicked off the switch to what was  stepping over a threshold
I flashed out anticipation floating in the wonder of what could be
And placed the challenges into a the clouded darkness of wind tunnels.
I held my new coloured crayons to dance on the blank canvas
I wish to say it is so, that the leap is full of amazing-ment
I hoped to share the flight is worth every ounce of tasteful anticipation
It appears it is all an illusion!

And, as I look at the illusion, I feel as a fool.  I entered Ecuador on Día de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead.   I discovered the Goddess, Mictecacihuatl, Lady of the Dead associated with Spiders, Owls and Bats who, together with her, reside in the temple of darkness – a place without windows of doors!

I thought this leap of change and transformation would be a flight of delicate whoosh where I would float into my destination with weightless ease leaving behind the givingup/gettingout experiences which felt like weighted chains.   I imagined I would cross the threshold with ease seeing the entering of Ecuador as a shared magical moment.   The illusion is like a faery tale wagging!   In this moment, there are no windows and doors to this image!

Inside this dark space, it seems to be spinning faster and faster; crushing, a flipping upside down and inside out.  Reality is the spiral’s still, dark quiet center point that transports me back to a time in my life when I was utterly dependent.  In a strange country, where I don’t know the language and things appear less than desirable.  Yes, this is wee bit scary!   I am feeling vulnerable…something I am not committed too, but nether-the-less it is present and I name it loud and clear.   In the midst of this, I am also present to a divine current beyond bad movie images that keep showing up for me.  I know that when love seems very far away,  it is right here!  I am wide open inside the darkness!

I will share (somewhat reluctantly as it shows my weakness) it is my current experience in this moment that I am alone.  I get that what is appearing (what is showing up) is the darkness.   I also know that it is all perfect and that no matter what is going on in my head and heart, this is sacred space.  I also know that I am a wonderful human being who is feeling  wee bit knocked down…and so, as I reach out in the stumbles and tumbles to get my balance.   I am fully present to the feeling of dangling on thin air!   The tears are like radar calling out for help!

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I am delighted to share an amazing and solar-intense announcement accepted by me with glorious delight.  The Sun Angels and Spirits are standing at the door of friendship and co-creation.   

As most of you know, I am happiest plopped in the middle of a garden, talking to the plants, covered in dirt.  It is this love that drives me to continue learning and teaching and sharing about connection with Mother Nature.   Recently, I alluded to an amazing opportunity that will allow me to return to Canada every growing season.  Giggling!  Giggling!   I am in what appears as a space of solar gratitude and delight!   I am blessed as I will return to my friends and family in Canada every growing season when the sun is hot.   Through some amazing friends, the Spirit of the plants call me back….to work with and teach about self-sufficiency, the elements of nature and continue doing what I love doing.

Currently, I am transplanting truck loads of my dear friends (from my ex-land’s garden) that I have known for years.  I am re-placing them on a clean canvas at a new location ~  they will decorate a Solar Self Sufficiency Theme Park designed to empower people into taking control of their lives and reconnecting with the elements of nature.  WOO HOO!

How did this come about?   Well, once upon a time two families became neighbours and connected like two pieces of Lego.  Their adjoining property became the catalyst for weaving a 2 decade story of friendship kindness, compassion and gratitude.  This merge has grown into an exciting co-creation of our beings to create a space to emPOWER people into conscious and clean decision making that cooperates with Mother Nature and Her desire for us to be stewards of the amazing Planet Earth. 

Almost 10 years ago, my friends, the Verway family, entered into the busy-ness of Solar Power creating a company called Copperhill.   I was busying myself with my own business called Nature’s Elements educating clients on a natural lifestyle.   I was also delving into the art and science of self-sufficiency and Spiritual Transformation, hosting retreats, learning about the land and her gifts.   Over the years, our families gathered and shared our lives in friendship.

The Spirit of the LOVE surely knows when to offer you a life-line.  The Verways tossed one to me a year and a half ago.  In fact, it was almost to the day my husband left our marriage.    I was left wondering how I could financially support myself.   Like a beam of connective sunshine, the Verways were experiencing accelerated growth of their home based Solar Power company due to the Ontario Government’s feed in grid program.   Our needs met once again and a seed was planted in fertile soil.   I joined the Copperhill team and planted my Spirit in with the Sun’s blessing!

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I am scared!  Yep, fear is by my side!

It tip toes into my being with a waft of pressure weighing slowly, into a petrified rest.

The emotional characters have all arrived and stand together in the meeting room of Leisha at the centre of my being.   Yes, they are entertaining me with the intensity of mixed, varied experiences.  They have voted the feeling of being “scared” as the master or ceremony.

I am maker of these experiences and I also know to truly understand the messages, I am to listen with my heart and soul .  So slowly and one-by-one I observe their presence in grand ceremonial hall of Leisha.   

I sit with weakness.  Weakness is lifeless in inaction.  He just sits there as a bag of bones using procrastination and excuse as his weapons.    He also loves to present himself with the glorious character of self-pity.  Self-pity  carries a large sign with a flashing `not fair` slogan .    Together, Weakness and Self-pity conjure make-up stories of regret and “make wrong” for decisions I have made.    They have me feeling helpless, constrained and depleted.   I find myself questioning what the hell I am doing.   I have given up all my worldly possessions, watched my sacred items disappear and left my land and home.  What the hell have I done?   I am leaving my dear friends, my family and the country I have called home for over 35 years.  What the hell!!!!

I walk over and sit with Sadness.   Sadness arrives with a heavy sack of memories. She presents the pictures of the past and leads me down a dark hall of reminiscence.    She shows me the life I once lived; the contracts made with all my loved ones, the times I stumbled and fell.    Sadness brings with her the memories of failure, the pain, the hurt and the masks I wore for protection.  Sadness arrives with written orders to remember and unite with that which brought me to this place.  .  

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My final day upon this property!  My ceremony to let go, say good bye

I stood this morning very still and silently look over the horizon sipping the misty marvel of morning sun that has quenched my questions, queries, concerns and bursts of inspiration.  

There is a blanket of memory that returns and warms me and I notice the Mighty Oak!

Mighty, Mighty Oak has stood with me day and night - in the foreground of my daily muses.  The Spirit of His being is mighty in sensitive listening.  My stories have burst into his listening, mirroring, receiving and honouring of my journey in the inner and outer wilderness. 

Mighty Oak, I celebrated the enchantment of you!   And with the stories I have shared a little tear full of water’s magic is present.   I anoint the ground! 

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Has something BIG arrived? Can you feel it?  Perhaps you do!     

There is a brewing potential.  Could it be the love, peace and harmony chants of the 60’s are vibrating through the barrier of time?   They are calling it OCCUPY.   And, I notice  a wave of mixed emotions as we dwell in this space and time observing our Spirits merging.

I have spoken to many people about OCCUPY and I am not surprised people don’t feel they fully understand...there is a lot of information circulating that doesn't make any sense to most (most of us just aren't that "into" the finances of running a country) And, there are those who, through OCCUPY are just tapping into this movement with their own deep anger and/or fear.   Up until very recently, OCCUPY wasn’t even reported on the 6 o’clock news.  It isn’t taught in our schools.  It isn’t on billboards and media ads.  And, until recently, it hasn’t been the topic of conversation at the water cooler.  

I see 3 reactions brewing as the energy of the movement is tapping into a person’s inner being ~  frustration, fear and power (or all of the above)   I am certain most feel that something in the financial and economic system is “off” ... most have their nose up to the stench.   The stink is an ever-widening divide between those that have money and those that don’t and, no matter who you are, it is affecting us all ~ race, color, creed.     

This is a great time to realize we are not alone.  We are all feeling the discomfort! And, this is amazing!   Truly, it is only in discomfort that we humans truly seem to grasp the opportunity to transform.    Trust me, all that happening inside you (the challenge, trials, pissy-sour-ness, temptations and grumbles - or the love, clarity, peace, compassion) is also happening “out there” on a grander scale too. It is only a mirrored veil.   OCCUPY is happening within first.  It is the reason we are seeing it OUT THERE!  And, we are ALL sitting on the precipice of possibilities brought on by the simple fact that things are shaken, waken up.  Can we lean into it, deeper, deeper ~  get clear, check out what is motivating you and make the transformation (whatever it takes) into love and peace?

So, there is my segway ~  my challenge before you get involved in OCCUPY!  I lovingly and powerfully ask you to take a deep and honest look at where you are operating from ~ what stories are you making up about the grumbles of life.   WILL YOU OCCUPY YOURSELF FIRST?   Are you angry?  Are you frustrated?  Are you fearful?  What is truly going on inside you?   You don’t have to share it with anyone, just be super honest with yourself.   Just take a moment to really feel yourself!  Sit with it!  Just say "hello" to it!

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 I posted this on facebook before David and I were in relationship.  It is worth a post here!

by Leisha Naja on Friday, July 30, 2010 at 8:12am
Morning Outlaw Poet!... 

....here is a morning Muse to follow and answer your question of me about creating a sacred space (retreat location) for others! This place is kindred space! This sharing a personal muse. Land of scared healing only flows from the intricate nature and naturalness of one's soul and spirit! As the apex of creation, it flows from our own manifestations and internal conversations.

I am sharing this publically as I felt compelled to put it out there and not contain this conversation between you and I. I will give you an encapsulation of my humble discovery up to this point about creating a healing retreat space for others. The land only responds to you! It is your journey that will manifest the flow and movement of it's created art. I extend these words so they can vibrate as they need to in your life and story, mine and anyone else who finds themselves reading this. I welcome response too, because in sharing we will all grow and discover new paths to old dreams.

Sort of a bit of background... my parents are gypsy-like so as a young child, we lived all over the world never digging in deep roots. But, this was for the purpose of recognizing that the bonding of the heart has a stronger, deeper root system than a shelter we call home. I married young and to a beautiful soul whose life path detoured in and around the halls of addiction. I stayed with this man for 25 years in the cosmic co-dependency dance. I am forever grateful for his presence and dance with me and my experience in these sacred moments of dazzling determination! 

After a very intense experience in South Africa (a type of mission) over 15 years ago, I return to Canada with a fire-ball in my heart that kept scorching my views and opinions of western living. At this point, the co-dependent energy in me was successfully running 3 business and managing investment properties. I was barely 30. The SA experience gave me the courage to walk away from this life and within 3 months everything had changed - no business, no investments and a dumping into a property with no source of income. Scary and liberating! Deeo the bush called Muskoka I named this property WildFLower (The Place of Beatitudes) where I began building a "place" without any idea of what was being asked of me. Sometimes you just do things with the spaz energy, without question or thought. You just know! 

Onward was my discovery of self-sufficiency and I began to learn how to work with the land for survival (Thoreau energy) ....cooperate with the land for beauty (Anastasia energy) and then open that space for others. In came the plants and animals for food. In came the lessons of living off the land. I fell in love with wild gardens and the unique and joyful personality each plant offers it's space. We setup 22 beds and opened to the possibilities of allowing whomever to be a part of it. We became a retreat/shelter/hostel and place of party. I found myself in the middle of many worlds, the religious fervor of saving souls, the bartenders energy of ann landers and the martyrdom of giving so much your spirit gets sucked dry. This all sounds negative, but, trust me my friend, these are blessed lessons. Many characters came through...most whose distraught and angry energy became my intimate friend. I learnt that many people will use and abuse goodness in a survival mode and the lesson is to not get caught up in it. Learning to love regardless and anyhow was a deep, drawing lesson. The concept of equality, fairness the "damn it I am right" or "I deserve" energy was really spinning. People will latch on a draw your energy. Mother Theresa says "give any way" because when you are truly empty you can be truly filled up. But, this isn't easy to learn....it is a hard road to meet this lady of absolute giving. She is a woman with a scorn who will offer you a delicious food for your soul!

(Actually, I am returning to this place this weekend as my sister is getting married and she currently holds the space as her home.) 

Allow me back up a bit! At this space we organized hosted retreats, started to generate income renting rooms, and found the local emergency shelter relied on our beds as overflow. The characters that came were from all walks of life; colorful, ragged, rough and edgy! Much circulating rebel energy! There was a blending of characters that often was quite explosive as we all tried to mesh our stories and existence. I also started to work for Survivorman (Les Stroud) so his gift of land survival was being absorbed too. I became obsessed and in love with plants and living entities - a bit of a wild crazy woman always covered in dirt and desiring to tantilizingly taste the fruits of the land. It was sensuous and sensual in all aspects of knowing. But, few understood this crazy obsession. I came to hear whispers of the soul-talk from the plants and insects communicating their messages of crazy divine love .... very few can hear these voices and so there was little I could do but stay open. You do not hear this with the formation of words.... it is a voice without dialogue that dances somewhere in and around you. It can not be articulated. Perhaps not too wise to share this with too many people... (she says as she puts it out on facebook - lol) They have places for crazy people ya know! But once you tap into this sound, it is an insanely beautiful song that can not be disguised with any amount of intelligence or decent rationality. It is crazy, crazy crazy! (Although, there is science now to validate the sacred language of plants and the art of homeopathy that portrays this painting too)

That catapulted an official studying blast off into the world natural health and healing, ayurveda, ancient religions/ wisdoms/ herbs/ homeopathy/ wild foods/ living foods / spiritual nourishment ..... a deep thirst to remember those lifetimes of past and send it out into this lifetime. It was an intense period of study where I learnt that healing through self-sufficiency and education is perhaps the only way to truly affect/effect another's journey. Empowerment is the strongest tool on a healers belt. All of this is a full time job with a life-term learning curve .... that is it bloody hard work. I learnt that self-sufficiency is a communal act and not meant to be endeavoured individually. Survival "alone" is a difficult path that carries the spirit of maddness. I learnt that people are thirsty for a space to heal, learn, discover....but they can't name that thirst and they seek, seek, seek the source to quench the unquenchable. 

But, my husband grew weary and began to communicate a deep disdain for my journey. He really wanted out of this lifestyle and (as I know now), away from my journey towards this devouring, drawing dream. His words communicated that the world he lived in was colored with MY picture and my picture alone. And, he was absolutely right! His passive nature hadn't created much in the physical landscape of our living. And, that is okay! 

And, after 10 years in Muskoka, we moved to another location to medicate a geographical cure. Can't stop the spirit though and once again, I began building and creating and moving with the land. I have a 25 acre property with over 2 acres of garden food and medicine. I operate a little healing centre out of an 1874 old Church. I have carved pathways through the forest and sacred spaces for natural conversations. The journey still continues (vortexing) as I discover the art of healing and blend it with the tools I have on my belt. This journey is now leaving the cultivation of the garden and entering the wild spaces. Wilderness has a louder, bolder voice! The comical side of it is that a geographical move will not temper the movement of the soul's purpose...no matter where I am, I will create cause that is the melody of my soul.

There are many beautiful spaces of retreat in this world many of them are glamorous in nature and expensive on the pocket. I sense your place will be grounded in the soul of the land and not meant to generate the dollar as such. All things should be balanced so the exchange of energy between what you give and what your receive is equalized, but focussing intent on financial gain smears the wildness, wilderness of such an endevour. Money should never be the motivator of such an task! It is only a residual gift!

I think the space you have, itself, alone, will answer to the truth of its' purpose.....and in your in heart your will know how it wants to present itself to others and what it will receive in return. Sitting in contemplation is gate to opening this purpose. If the pure intention is present, the land will respond. This intention needs to be intimately communicated to you and your being. It needs a channel to work through you. It is a matter of meeting that space Tim....spending time there...and talking to the seemingly lowliest weed and hugging the grandest tree. It is about finding stone and placing in your mouth to feel it's character with your tongue. It is eating, living, drinking, dancing, defectating, touching, smelling, singing, listening, and seeing with your land....becoming ONE with it. It is a matter of walking barefoot to send your spirit into the soil so the dirt can respond in kind to your soul. Once you connect to this world, it will offer you all the assistance you need. It will reveal the locations for the shelters, the winding paths, the meeting places, the firepit, the sacred healing spots, and where the gardens should be grown. It will cooperate with you! It's language will be revealed. Consider a living hedge surrounding the area as a natural means to protect the souls who visit - this will contain the love while they are there. Consider an ancient labyrinth walk. Consider the healing rocks and their placement for a flow of energies. Consider the 5 elements and how they will dance their purpose into the picture you are creating. Bring in all elements in equal portions. I suppose, I know, once you intimately know each part of and parcel of the land you love, once you establish a relationship with each particle of presence, they will form into the dream in your heart. I know this! It is true! 

For me, I will be a wanderer for a while. There is rumblings that I may have to bid fair-well to my current space of love. This is part of the process and I accept it with gratitude. I know one day, I find my true home where the black fly, the berries and the bears - the entire movement of the land will melt into my heart. I hope this sharing has inspired you some! If you feel it Tim, then be a part of it. It will form from the intentions of your heart and soul.

Much love
Leisha - Naja with little wings.

Sorry I got carried away in the breeze of this question and followed a prompting for self-refection. Thank you for that!!!!!!

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Well, in the womb of creation, I meet craziness head-on!  It pulls and stretches in polarized directions warping and dismantling my life past.  As it finally comes to the final act, all the experienced emotions raise their shattered glasses and dance in the mosh-pit to the final encore of my life that “was”.

When you lose all sense of self
the bonds of a thousands chains will vanish
Loose yourself completely, return to the
root of the root of your own soul.~Rumi  ♥

Today marks the day I hand over the metaphoric key to the new tenants of my home.  I have taken leave of the house and sit comfortably in a local cafe as I allow the new participants to unload their belongings and meet their new home in peace and freedom.  It is a much needed break from my own sorting, arranging and packing duties and a opportunity to create and expose in the written word all that is flowing through me.

This week was a strange one for sure!  The time of departure is flying fast like a storm of multiple layers swirling, shifting, and surrendering. It is a folding mass boiling weather fronts.   Actually, time is quickening way beyond my physical body’s acceptance.  It’s creating physical discomfort purging, pulling and poking at my body systems.   Time has been moving “fast” for a couple of years now, but my current experience is it has accelerated to a point where I've completely lost full days worth.  (where did Wednesday and Thursday go?)   My mind and body stretch and expand pregnant with hope, desire, excitement and acceptance.

The final stretch of the  “gettingout” experience is back-dropping to a “givingup” drama.   After spending months placing my “things” on the financial market for barter and sale, it came time to remove the dollar from the equation of givingup.  This week, my things became free and I wished them magically into new spaces where gratitude and acceptance could become wrapped in a flourishing bow of love.

I am present to the unique endowment I experience as I take part in the massive gifting exercise.  Divinity is tickling me as I play a once in a life time opportunity to give in such gigantic, full, open way.   It is poles apart from the feeling of giving purchased gifts.  I get to “give up” personal treasures and practice the art of nonattachment … stretching the comfort limits of my acceptable “giving” and other’s “receiving” gauge.

How open are you to fully receive? Most would guess/believe they are totally open. However, when a gift arrives beyond our expectation the voices of the head can be a messy challenge.  It sounds like "wow, what can I do for you in return?" or "wow, it's too much?" or “I can’t possible accept/request/take that!” or  “are you sure you don’t want this?”   It is puzzling to most that someone is actually giving it all away.

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Wondering remnants of memory's fragrance wafting
Shufflin compassion in the hall of  "what it was like"
Rejection and acceptance you are invited to shake hands
And resistance to embrace the affection of allowance
Beingness has the most incredible, magic power
Like an ink dipped feather recalling the memory of flight.

It is really noisy in my head!!!!!!

• In a week, (Oct 1st)  I welcome new occupants into my home and suss out details of my departure with the two tenants on the property.
• The following week, I prepare for my departure with a funeral celebration/going away party (October 8th)  - everyone is invited to come and take the left over material possessions too!
• I will vagabond for 3 weeks between family and friends
• Then, on October 28th,  I step through that creative door of transformation that has been a focus for a long, long time.  I fly to San Francisco to connect with David.
• On November 1st, we fly to Ecuador.

In this final stretch, lots is showing up for me.  It is like I am standing at the door of creative wilderness with all these characters of being and we are having a loud and lively discussing.  They, the emotional characters new and old,  are welcoming me to shed the final weight in order to pass through this door. 

I see the portal door clearly. In fact, I am touching the handle and ready to use the key. Yet, I know it is important to stop and schedule a final tea time to converse with the presences that still linger on my back.    I figure they don't like the prospect I am letting them go and I realize it is important to allow them to fully express so they are able to let me go in peace.

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